“My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” 

Those are the words that bring me comfort today as I focus on another waiting time for my cancer treatment to move forward. On Wednesday morning, I told Kimberly, “I should be lying in the hospital bed we set up in our bedroom for my recovery from surgery. But, instead, I’m going to work – doing normal activities in an abnormal circumstance – and my feelings are all over the road map.” 

At a risk of being misunderstood, because I’m not sure I understand, I’ll be vulnerable to let you know the first feelings I had when I woke up and found out my surgery was “aborted” last Thursday. (I hate that word.) I felt confusion, fear, sadness, and shame. It’s that last feeling I’m not sure I understand. With as much spiritual work and biblical counseling as I’ve been through in my days, I was surprised that my old enemy shame was knocking at the door of my heart. I’m still processing that, but I felt I had let my world down. So many wonderful people were praying, hoping, caring, cheering me on, and I was thrust back into the unknown mystery of God’s ways that were certainly not in alignment with my ways.

I’ve been in a mental, spiritual, and emotional fog as I’ve sought to figure out what happened in the OR that morning and what the new plan will be going forward. Tuesday, I met with a hepatologist from UCSF. She helped me understand that the problem was perceived liver damage observed as the surgical team began their work to move my stomach to and resect it with the esophagus later in the surgery. They hesitated and ultimately pulled the plug on the surgery because a recent surgery on another patient had complications, and they didn’t want the same results with me. I’m glad for that. I believe they took the correct action in the moment. Now, they are doing the work to ensure that if I get another go at the surgery, they will have made every precaution to protect me. That’s where we are today. 

Please continue to pray for wisdom and guidance – that God would reveal His ways.

I received many thoughtful cards, emails, texts, and social media comments that were so helpful. Still, one in particular, was from a dear friend who sent me a devotional by Ann Voskamp she hoped would help. It gave me words and a picture that might help you as well. It was about finding God in the mystery of suffering.

“Job suffered. His name is synonymous with suffering. He asked, ‘Why?’ He asked, ‘Why me?’ And he put his questions to God. He asked his questions persistently, passionately, and eloquently. He refused to take silence for an answer. He refused to take clichés for an answer. He refused to let God off the hook. Job did not take his sufferings quietly or piously. He disdained going for a second opinion to outside physicians or philosophers. Job took his stand before God, and there he protested his suffering, protested mightily. ‘All I want is an answer to one prayer – Where’s the strength to keep my hopes up? What future do I have to keep me going?’ Job 6:8,11

Job gives voice to his sufferings so well, so accurately and honestly, that anyone who has ever suffered —which includes every last one of us — can recognize their personal pain in the voice of Job.

He says boldly what some of us are too timid to say. He makes poetry out of what in many of us is only a tangle of confused whimpers. He shouts out to God what a lot of us mutter behind our sleeves. He refuses to accept the role of a defeated victim. 

It is not only because Job suffered that he is important to us. It is because he suffered in the same ways that we suffer — in the vital areas of family, personal health, and material things. Job is also important to us because he searchingly questioned and boldly protested his suffering. Indeed, he went “to the top” with his questions. Job does not instruct us in how to live so that we can avoid suffering. Suffering is a mystery, and Job comes to respect the mystery.”

When I read the entire devotional (here it is if you want to read it), I was moved by the wonderful concept of mystery and how God’s ways really aren’t my ways. But in the mystery, I can discover God’s presence in ways that are surprising, intimate, and soothing. Ann Voskamp expressed this so beautifully. In the course of facing, questioning, and respecting suffering, “Job finds himself in an even larger mystery — the mystery of God. Perhaps the greatest mystery in suffering is how it can bring a person into the presence of God in a state of worship full of wonder, love, and praise. Suffering does not inevitably do that, but it does it far more often than we would expect.”

That’s where I find myself today — sitting in the shadows of suffering and mystery. Hearing my God say to me that Satan will not get the final word, and instead to look to Him for comfort not from answers to medical questions, but to look for my answers in the presence of the compassionate, loving, powerful, ever-present “I AM” who is with me. May you know His presence fully – even though you may be living in the mystery of suffering.

Here are some upcoming opportunities to SPREAD HOPE to our community. 

This Sunday, October 31, is FALL FAMILY FESTIVAL.  One of our largest community service projects each year is FFF. This year’s theme is Animal Adventures. We’re going to spread out and utilize as much of our facility – indoors and outdoors – as possible to create a fun and irresistible environment where families can come relax and play together. We’re doing our part to make sure our FFF is safe for the community who will attend and for our volunteers. 

FFF is such a FUN event, and we’re eagerly looking for a whole army of volunteers to help make sure that every family who attends will feel welcomed, have fun, and leave with all the candy they could ever have imagined. You can sign up to serve on our website or by contacting Mare or John. So many families in our community get their first real contact with our church through this event. That makes FFF a high-impact investment as we get to have a personal touch with the families of our community. 

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD has been a way we’ve engaged for years now that allows us to reach out in a global way to spread the hope of Jesus during the holiday season. If you’ve never participated or want a review of why this is so important, just watch this video, and you’ll see the impact a small shoe box can have on the lives of children around the world. We have OCC boxes available at the church on Sunday mornings at the Spread Hope kiosk. Stop by, get yours, make a box, and return it to Twin Cities by Sunday, November 14. 

SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS GRIEF SHARE is a meaningful way to spread hope with your loved ones and friends who face the pain of loss during this season. The holidays have a way of turning up the heat under our pain, and we want to help you know that you are not alone. This one-time session offered Thursday, November 18, 5:30-7:30pm at Twin Cities, will help you find hope as you navigate the holidays without your loved one. You can guide people to our website for more information or to register.

THIS SUNDAY we will continue our RADIATE LOVE series based upon the New Testament book of 1 John. John writes to correct error that had seeped into some of the second-generation church teachers in the region of Ephesus. He writes to encourage the Followers of Jesus in that region to exemplify the words of Jesus when He said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are My disciples if you love one another.” 

Sunday’s message is about Adhering to Truth. We’ve mentioned several times that John didn’t write a linear discourse of instructions on living as Followers of Jesus. Instead, his letter is circular. He keeps coming back to the same message again and again. In the section we’ll look at Sunday, he writes to correct the false teachings about Jesus that are confusing these new Followers of Jesus. In this section, his challenge is to adhere to the Gospel truth and not let other teachings cause you to get confused or get off course.

Here are the links you’ll need to be fully prepared for Sunday’s Service:

• Message Notes and Study Guide
• Weekly Spotify Playlist
• Children's Ministry
• Student Ministry 

Joyfully living everyday life on mission in intimacy with Jesus and others,

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